Nostalgic

There is something nostalgic and exotic about mediumformat lenses. I mean, the category of large lenses used to belong mainly to the professionals back in the days - while amateur photographers simply couldn't afford those, and focused around the fullframe 24x36 format instead. Which too, could sometimes be expensive of course.

However, when you wanted to do the "mini mediumformat 645", or even go for "Hasselblad" 6x6 or the larger 6x7 format - things were waaaaay more expensive than expensive.

On the other hand,

serious amateurs / semi-pro's didn't shop a lot of mediumformat lenses. They usually bought 3 - and then did magic with it in their images on film negatives and later on prints in the darkroom.
They weren't as stuck as today's generation did in the 2010-2016 - buy every third week a new Mediumformat CAMERA system second hand - in order to gloat about on their homepages / blogs. That felt... I don't know. It wasn't about photography anymore. It was just walking though whole systems, like a stream roller of consumption

Well, it was a sport for many bloggers in the early - mid 2010s

Today, most of those homepages are gone.

Up like a sun, down like a pancake. Signs of our Times - and then gone with the wind.

Everybody is doing the Instagram, Facebook and similar type of mainstream framed / sandboxed platform types. Nodyo creates homepages anymore. And when they do, it is again with platform apps - looking more or less the same. Streamlined, smooth and glossy, like window shopping. But let's face it - they often lack a lot of personality.

A LOT !

The pioneer spirit of the internet, is long, long gone. Home-made is a slogan of the past. Today, everything looks cloned and adapted to be made for mobile phones. Degrading good photography to less than an original 6x7 negative, due to that people don't even turn around their mobile phones in order to look at a photo in horizontal position. This far evolution has gotten us into.

Lazy. Lazy. frikkin lazy.

Maybe i should look at things differently

The dumb get dumber. And. The Bright get brighter. So, the digital tools provided, good and bad - and now with all the AI bullshit on top - there will always be groups who actually do smart things, learn and bypass AI slops and errors, and cultivate ways of thinking for themselves. (Plus; knowing HOW to use AI with discernment !)

Sidestep: Plus i noticed that there is more honest 'spirituality' involved. Not the "NewAge" fluff BS. But serious, humanly anchored, deep and profound insights, which stretching outside the normal way of thinking in people. As if people started to see that there is more to reality, than what the eyes can catch. People who seem to reflect and increased change of consciousness and awareness.

Very interesting phenoma, to ssay the least.

Strange sensations

While a majority still succumbs quickly to the new AI wetlands, sinking in deeper and get stuck. We already see the zombification; how deeply it has gotten a hang of people in daily life. Albeit nobody wants to identify with it:

"Me ?? Who me, ? No, I am not!" - yet almost all do it, and are stuck. When you observe people around you for a longer time

I often follow people with my eyes - and sense... well, strange sensations of "empty shell". Albeit those people are not empty - often not at all. Yet, I am surprised by the "total" indifference that people radiate at first glance, and when you follow them a while with your eyes and senses.

The teenager in me, doesn't understand these phenomenas - at all. He gets both puzzled and quietly sad, wondering about what the future of humanity will hold, if this continues like that.

Don't get me wrong

regarding platforms people use today (Facebook, Instagram, etc) for people who are and have been seeking contact to others as well gotten unexpectedly in touch with "the right people"... Those platforms have been worth gold.

In so many ways, people have come together, started projects, did many things they wouldn't done otherwise. So, a mainstream platform was likely for many a positive thing. (not always, but for many). I often see that in so many other ways. Like Carla though contacts via the internet, just happens to work with "The Search for Gollum" in New Zealand.

I mean... wow !

Me ? I am just a loner who does his thing, writes like a immature teenager still at older age. But it is a DIARY, which means, it is mainly a space for me personally, in which i gauge, bounce and sometimes barf out my thoughts. Because I do not truly speak in exactly the same way, like I write. Fortunately i am more mature and even wiser when it counts in real life.

My diary is... well, let's say it is "mentally underdeveloped". More the way I wrote like 20-25 years ago. Well not exactly, but i certainly don't sound like skilled writers who mature and get older (above 40). Man, there are so many wise, intelligent people out there, making podcasts which are so impressive, sensitive, skilled and deeply profound. People who are like 20 years younger then me.

Then i think of my homepage, about the way i write quirky... and think... oh, my gaaad, Ralf. Seriously ?! Haven't you gotten further then this ?!

*LOL*

Ballpark for a younger self

I start to think that my homepage - is a sort of space for my younger self. It still seems like it.

Like a teenager who is still attached to a lot of emotions, feelings and quirky reflections - being part of my personality as of today. I mean sure, it is somewhere in there still. Absolutely.

I do not understand everything i sense, see and read. From the PERSPECTIVE of a somewhat "lost" yet also curious and yet at times angry teenager does not fully understand or grasp the deeper aspects of what my older self sees. Aspects that are not clear or fully understandable for my younger self.

My Diary is the space, where I let steam off. I do however not document or follow up developments everything in here my Diary - far from it. In a way, I am not as open as I used to be, let's say 20 years ago. (Plus that society at large has changed too). People's attention span has diminished, and many are no more curious any longer (in general) to their surroundings.

My younger self seems to be prone to get sometimes lost. Or seduced. My emoitional things. Opinions. Stuff like that - where you normally have to reflect and think much deeper - before you can start to discern the wheat from the chaff".

Which is not the easiest thing these days !!

However both parts in me young and older - communicate, listen/speak and negotiate with one another. Something that may not come forth in the way i write here into my Diary. But in reality, on my inside - there is a lot of dialogging going on. There is always communication between the younger and the older me.

Luckily, that is.