The Difference

I didn't loose a friend. I lost the illusion of what looked like a friend. There is clearly a difference - one that makes all the difference, better to let go. Luckily it wasn't a case of love, like earlier in my life towards a guy, whom i fell in love with. That often makes things a lot more complicated - mainly due to the strong affection towards; let's just call it "object of desire" - even if that sounds a bit crude for my taste. It is often our own inability to let go, due to that we still hold dear the illusion of love too close to our hearts.

Love that ain't love, in truth, I mean.

As well we often develop a sort of stubbornness in the false belief that "things might perhaps still work out". WE also hope to be seen in the process of divorce/separation/conflict... which too is an illusion. Because they simply don't care in any of that. It's never about you or "your love".

It is for them about "Serve to Self", which means their universe indulges into everything that benefits their desires and other quirks and "black holes". You are on the other hand, just a tool at their disposal as long you go along with the deceptions, sweet and bitter lies, and so on.

Sure, things can get fixed - if it is a human being, with a real heart. But if you are entangled with a psychopath / sociopath or narcissist... then the "normal rules", simply don't apply. You can wait and hope a whole lifetime, and even die with it - without that the illusion of a comeback or happy end ever will be fulfilled. They give a rats ass, to be blunt. Hopium.

A fools errand.