I am often "all over the place" with things I am trying to do - without really going deep-deep into what I am doing. That I know... it is a kink of mine, it seems. Or perhaps it goes like this: imagine a spiral. Each circle - one pass - I reconnect to what I was doing earlier. So over time, I do after all the many things I am often a bit shallow about.
Into too many things ?
I was thinking for example when I bought the Olympus / OM System Macro 90mm f 3.5 IS PRO lens - which enabled me to do some more serious macro photography. Albeit i never went out to do it - an rather limited myself to a few subjects in my home. And then left off, because I got inspired by other things (The Vertex method, of stitching together images, emulating a 7x7 cm digital sensor, allowing me to replicate the true image character of 6x7 lenses.
Then that I left off again - as winter went deeper and colder (and the constant lack of sunshine, which was abysmal between 20 Oct and beginning of Jan 2024), I didn't do any larger outdoor photo sessions. Then, I got suddenly very inspired with printing images. (Something I hadn't done in 20 years). Now that too has kind of ebbed out... And I got re-inspired of scanning negatives - only this time only 35mm negatives with the new VALOI Easy35. It is a fantastic device, and i love it. It helps me tremendously with scanning thousands of negatives.
Always return
The thing with me is... i always RETURN to each area. Each time, i go a deeper. So, even if it seems as if i left off things... I do return to it anew every time.
Sure, I do often get the feeling "hat the fuck Ralf, are you just a shallow dude !?" calling in question what I am doing in my photography ? Of course, I cannot compete with the latest talents. That train has gone decades ago - and in the mean time, the reflection changed a little - which means, I've gotten older... Kind of got stuck partially. Repeat myself. Got boring, or at least partially. Don't run after the latest and greatest. Yet sometimes I do, or let myself get influenced. *rolling my eyes*
I am not particularly ambitious, and tend to avoid (?) things more often than not (Albeit, I am not sure about this theory). Occasionally I stick my head out of the crowd big times. I am not very social and act more like loner... Albeit i also have the total opposite: i can be very social, out and about - yet just not on a steady level.
Sounds like a Pisces energy; one Fish up in the air. The other one grounded into the soil.
Possibily maybe or perhaps never.
I could have done more in my photography, like better, greater or whatever. But this was not the case and I have chosen... my path... the way i have done - and I guess, that's it. Perhaps I did too much of everything, and developed too little by focusing on a fewer things.
Fine.
It is what it is. |