Sal portraits in daily life

He has a tendency to look a bit "goofy" when you make photos of him. He simply isn't posing or anything - and is just himself. He tends to look timid (I am not sure if that is the right word). A bit plain, so to speak - and isn't really revealing his radiation and personality, which makes him shine like a strong source of light. There just is something about that guy... as if he has lived many, many lives.

So, most of my daily life portraits of Sal, look rather plain.

 

When I was around 30

I sometimes felt or thought, I had an "old spirit". How, today, I am not so sure about that anymore. Because in the presence with Sal over time, especially when I reflect silently in the background, my thoughts and feeling lingering... I can sense the dignity of an old spirit about him. And in comparison as if his spirit is way older than me.

 

Through a sense of contemplation

Perhaps it is because during the latter years, I can feel that my being isn't that wise in comparison. That by intuition i stumble more often in life, which a wise man perhaps wouldn't have in the same way ? (It's not about to "avoid" the lessons of life - i doubt you can truly "avoid" the lessons you will be confronted with throughout lifetimes).

But something tells me, that Sal navigates through life with a dignity of wisdom. At the same time, he isn't making a big deal about it, no fuzz, no big words. He just does. While I often have the words and expressions - but I don't always follow up my own "wisdom" and insights in real life. I know this afterwards, through contemplations, a sense of inner reflection, in which I can look and see into a "mirror", and see my choices in life vs the wisdom i carry within, are not always the same. I guess this has something to do with that life is based on the law of (ultimately) Free Will.

 

Ego and Free Will

We also got an Ego, a sort of "artificial" creation which only stays within the realm of what we call reality, but isn't a part of spirit, which stretches to the realms and densities of beyond (including beyond time and space). Now our Ego often has a lot of other things in mind, compared to the wisdom of spirit. And here, in this life, we can choose by ego, whether right or wrong, insight or blindness, to make choices we think "gains" us something. Yeah, ego is about "gaining something". Spirit is about awareness; a deeper sense of knowledge, beyond thought manifestation.

 

Anyway.

I got a deeper sense of that my spirit may not be that old really. Because that guy (Sal), goes beyond most people I ever have met. It's just this silent awareness and hasn't so much to do with direct performance in daily life.

I am not saying this because he is my husband. You know, there are times when the sensitive minded, can distance from their personality, and look at people as if looking from the outside, the third observer kind of perspective (unbiased and impersonal). Like if you are a different person. It is in those moments, which gives you hints about people you observe as well about yourself.

 

Cover of a Book. A very deep book.

So, the goofy appearance of Sal, is really only the cover of a deep, fascinating book. And yet, that book appears in daily life so simplified, very easy going. Which is an interesting combination, I must say. Especially the way how Sal interacts with other people, I find utmost fascinating !!

 

In the above photo session

Rather few ones - he is different for a change

I think I asked him to get out of the house in Nicolosi, because I was tired of that I never direct people in my photography - which often results into boring images. (I mean in daily life, after having made so many of "boring" images).

So, I thought, to direct him mildly - while placing him against the light wall of the house in Nicolosi which he rented during three years, e.g. 2016-19. (Nicolosi is the last village) towards Etna volcano, on the souther side.

 

Vivid personality

So, during this photo session - much more of his vivid personality came to the fore. I love the images above. I never scanned them before, so this is a first time.

They show the sparkling side of Sal's personality, which he almost always has, when he interacts with other people. "The Italian Style" - then you may understand how that is like. There is no fake about it, no pretense - it's just the way Sal is. And as strange as it may sound - he gets along with all kinds of people, no matter the kind. At the same time, he always keeps a higher opinion about people (while I am more of the critical, ambivalent type when i look inside myself, what I think about others).

 

Transforming potential conflict into creative tension

He also has the gift of transforming negative energies into more positive situations - which I find absolutely fascinating. (Again, this is a point, in which I sometimes feel that I am more hung up on things and people, compared to Sal - which made me wonder, that my spirit may not be so old, really). Because if my spirit would be old, i would not get blinded by my ego, and stay "hung up" on certain people and their behavior, decisions and ways to act.

I would look though all that...

I can get pretty lost in my negative feelings about someone - without having learned or understood how to wheel the power of that in every conflict - there is a potential to turn around the energy into something positive; into creative tension !

Or like Tao says: Potential conflicts are point which can be transformed into creative tension - and energy which opens doors and new possibilities. Tao often hints to us, that when we look at other people, we sometimes let our inferiors (Ego), leading the way, forcing ourselves having to judge somebody - because the pain inside, we give the upper hand for judgment of others. Which can be premature, and literally closing the door to any further development or progress.

How many times do we want final results ? How many times does thoughts force us to believe that somebody is "hopeless" ? When he or she may not be.

Now I am not saying an alcoholic is someone to invest into (taking care of) - because that can be a trap in which another person feeds the drunk's persons ego for a half life time, until coming to realization, that this is not meant to be.

But we tend to push things in certain direction - but there is a time for push for results, and there is a time to step back.

 

Too much into my my own head ?

My thinking is, that as long i am stuck into my emotions - i guess - a heated situation just stays there, negatively tilted, without change, without progress. Following older patterns once created in a sort of survival mode ? Maybe I am too much into my own head sometimes - so how can there be any progress or transformation from conflict into creative energy - if my part is "locked down" - so to speak. I believe that is also a problem for many other people - why situations easily can go into conflict.

When I sense Sal, I understand 'exactly' - because something connect in that moment, for me to understand, what it is like to do differently. (And not because "it is said so" or "you have to because..." or anything like that. It comes as a revelation, as an insight. I admire Sal enormously for his ability to change conflict into creative energy.

He is not a rubber band guy - but seem to know by intuition how to deal with many situations. Even if he doesn't know exactly the outcome, or how it comes about - but he seem to trust his intuitive abilities by instinct and soul.

And I find that so incredibly fascinating. A source of inspiration !

That's why I say, I often learn from him. Not like, him telling me "how things are done" - but by observing him, listening to him and within myself. That inner sense of observation without ego - in order to understand what things really are - and what they are not. How they are connected.

 

The Ego side of things

If Sal and my egos bang into each other, well that is a totally different story. Sal has a strong personality, and is stubborn. And I am pretty much the same, I would say.

It it would be for another ability - it would be hopeless between us. We both have the ability to listen and reflect especially in hindsight ! And we really do that. This is far greater than the words itself. I mean it is so easy to say" Yeah, reflecting about it afterwards". Do we people really do that - or are we perhaps mixing that up with this: We just dwell on thoughts and bad feelings afterwards ?

Well, that ain't reflections, I can tell you that.

Both Sal and I have temperament. So, when you Ego clash, it gets heated (surprise !) *LOL*. Albeit the really heated ones, happen surprisingly seldom.

But every time - we both reflect in hindsight, including about our own behavior. Our stake in all that what created the conflict. What comes out of that, is really interesting. Because when we talk about it afterwards - nobody "collecting points" or insists on "who is right or wrong". And that is a surprising development, fascinating every single time. And so unlike all experiences I have ever made together with other people I lived with !

It is like looking into a portal, a "seeing pond", in which you can watch your ego in a mirror, and see how stupid certain things you do, really are. And we do that, without any guilt cards.




X-Ray patterns in the photos ?

There is a strange pattern visible in the images of Sal. First I thought it was liquid which affected the film - but the pattern in the images are like a strongly tilted letter, with defined borders. So, I believe the film was exposed to X-Rays or something. (albeit those often result into different pattern).

 

Correction in a Diary Entry

It seems to be one of my better Diary entries - now that I worked though the entire text, correcting my expressions, what I really wanted to say. It seems to me, that when I write into my Diary, without checking and dwelling on what I wrote - the results are plain bad sometimes.

I apologize for that. I realize that I have to pay better attention to what i am writing. That the job isn't done, only to dance on a keyboard. It is all nothing if it isn't corrected and cleaned up afterwards. I am not just talking about my spelling mistakes, but the way I express myself, leaves a lot to be desired. It becomes tedious just trying to "follow" ones thoughts in writings.

16 May 2022 • spell checked & corrected.


- 75 -